Death Jazz rant

Someone on the telly said something about "Death Jazz" and into my head popped this rant. Doesn't mean anything but I imagined this angry hoard of pensioners devoutly clinging onto their jazz for dear life whilst the young upstarts trashed all that was traditional (and even bebop!)...

The upstart Jazzheads cult have claimed another victory over the massed hoards of enraged pensioners flocking to the now smokeless mill hill jazz club deep in zimmer country. “We’ve waited far too long for this” said one octogenarian high on the fumes of a charred Acoustic Ladyland CD. Not that this is even at the sharp end of the latest jazz fad. Acoustic Ladyland are tame by comparison to some. Meanwhile, the millhillians opponents, jazz’s youngest aficionados, parade their death jazz feast of dissonance and claim that jazz is dead, long live jazz! “The elderly have held jazz for way too long in a vice-like grip of rigor mortis proportions. Now is the time to rise up and purge jazz of its colostomy bag and triple heart bypass. Most of the good die young. Parker was cool in his day but so many as poorly improvised versions of the original exist that he’s become a pastiche of all that was avant garde.” So said one jazzhead member whose grasp of a good tune, so the pensioners’ claim, died before he’d left the womb. From beyond the grave one man’s voice rings out - Jazz isn’t dead it just smells funny – Frank Zappa.